chalus

Teacher to Tintu mon - Who is the son of Gandhiji?


Tintu mon - DINESHAN.


Teacher - Who told you this rubbish?


Tintumon : - From K.G. onwards we are studying dat


Gandhiji is the father of "DI neshan" (THE NATION)

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Sulaiman pandu schoolil padikunna timill ….

TEACHER: Pazhathinu Englishil Enthanu Parayuka?

Sulaiman : Ba... Ba...

TEACHER: Parayu Athu Thanne, Paranjolu..

Sulaiman : Ba...

"Baayakka"..

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Oru Indian Soldier Pakisthan Soldiers nte kayyil akapettuuu...
Indian Soldier nte kayyilanel Ayudhangal onnumilla....
ake ullathu 1 packet bread,1 bottle mineral water and one 500 rs note




but Indian soldier avide ninnum rakshapettu....




HoW?













Indian Soldier 500 RS note eduthu kanichu....
Appol Pakisthan karkku mansilayi avan CHILLARA kkaranalla ennu...

angane Pakisthan kar pedichu sthalam kaliyakki....


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Hutch engane vodafone aai??
































hutch mobile potti povaar aayapol ellarum phone eduthu oda'il ittu.. oruthan avidennu phone eduthu "hi.. oda phone".. angane paranaju paranju vodafone aa

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Ella daivangaludem veettil current poyi…….

Pakshe brahmaavinte veettil maathram current poyilla…..y?????

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:
Pullikkaran three face alle…

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kudiyan mathai veedilaathe thendi thirinju nadannu .. appozhanu oru budhi udhichathu. mathai nere kallu shaapilekku vittu . avide kudichu flat aayi. angane aa flatil keri mathai lived happily ever after.. enganundu?

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Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
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Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
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Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?
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Sardar's theory : Moon is more important than Sun, coz it gives light at
night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light
is not needed!!!
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2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...
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Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post
office....
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Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and
says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion......
....... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"
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A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
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2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
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A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......
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A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father
in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE
FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
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Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....
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Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.......

jokes

Teacher : Booku Vangiyille ?

Kutti : Illa teacher, Adakka vitttitu Maanga

Teacher : Fees Adachille ??

Kutti ; Illa Teacher Maanga Vittittu Adakka

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20 kollamaayi malayalikalude manassil niranju nilkunna chhodyam.....


pala thavana nammude urakkom keduthiya aa chhodyam.....

athe.. aa mahaachodyavum...... athinte utharavum.........

Sreenivasan to Mohanlal: " How many kilometers from Washinton DC to Miami Beach"????



I am the answer!!!!!!!
...........................................................................................................................................................
British: Which is ur favourite flower?
Hindu: Lotus.
British: I clean my ass with it...
Muslim: Lily.
British: I clean my ass with it...
Sardar: Cactus..... Ab bol saale!
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There was a dumb Asian lady married to an English gentleman

and they lived in London

.



The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but somehow managed to communicate with her husband.



The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.



One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs.

She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, she lifted up her skirt to show him her thighs.
The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs.

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts.

Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher what she wanted.
The lady got what she wanted.

The third day, the poor lady needed to buy some bananas.

So she brought her husband to the store....

What did she do?


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What are you thinking??


HellOOOOOOOOOOOO,


Her husband speaks English..... !!!

Now get back to your work.

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A boy and a girl were in love.
When the girl's father came to know
about their love, he did not like it at
all, and so began to protest about it.



Now it happened that the two lovers
decided to leave their homes for a happy
future.



The girl's father started searching for
the two lovers but could not find
them .



At last, he accepted their love and
asked them to come back home thru a



local newspaper. Her father said "If
you both come back I will allow you to marry the
guy you love, I accept that you loved
each other truly."





So in this way, their love won and they
returned home.



The couple next day went to town to shop
for the wedding dress. He was dressed
in a white shirt that day. While he was
crossing the road to the other side to
get some drinks for his wife, a car
came and hit him and he died on the spot.



The girl was devastated and lost her
senses. It was only after sometime that
she recovered from her shock.



The funeral and cremation was the very
next day because he had died horribly.



Two nights later, the girl's mother had
a dream in which she saw an old lady.
The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood
stains of the guy from her daughter's
dress as soon as possible. But her
mother ignored the dream.





The next night her father had the same
dream , he also ignored it. Then the
girl had the same dream the next night, she
woke up in fear and told her mother
about the dream. Her mother asked her
to wash the clothes with the blood
stains

immediately.







She washed the stains but some remained.
Next night she again had the same
dream. She again washed the stains but some
still remained. But again the next
night she had the same dream and this
time the old lady gave her a last
warning to wash the blood stain, or
else something terrible would happen.



This time the girl tried her best to
wash the stains, and the clothes
nearly tore, but some stains still remained.

She was very tired.







In the late evening the same day while
she was alone at home, someone knocked
on the door. When she opened the door
she saw the same old lady of her dream
standing at her door. She got very
scared and fainted.







The old lady woke her up... and gave her
a blue object, which shocked the girl.

She asked "What is this...?" The old
lady replied...

..

.. .

..

..

..

..

..

















"This is Nirma Washing Powder"



"Washing powder nirma,Washing powder
nirma



Doodh si safedi nirma se aaye,



Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaye,



sabki pasand nirma



Washing powder nirma,Washing powder
nirma.Nirma"



10 ka 1, do pe ek free











I know how you all are feeling now...



I have been through this too.



I'm also hunting for the idiot who mailed this to me

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M.B.A Student (vs) B.E Student

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain..... .



A MBA and a BE student go on a camping trip,

set up their tent, and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the BE wakes his MBA friend and says:

"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see."



The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."

The BE asks, "What does that tell you?"



The MBA ponders for a minute..

"Astronomically speaking,

it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell to you?"



The BE is silent for a moment, then speaks.



"Practically. ..Someone has stolen our tent".

"ENGINEERING = 100% COMMON SENSE"

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School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears:The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower..

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference:The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary:A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father:A banker provided by nature.

Boss:Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic:Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death
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